My Dear TeenRAGEr,
As I write this sitting next to you, I just wish you could see what I see now. I wish I could show you the beautiful life you’ve made for yourself by conquering your inner demons.
I have known the pain you’ve been through when at times you think that noone understands you and nobody cares for you…not even your parents. I have seen you crying in the showers and also seen you smiling at your reveries. There are times when you want to soar high in your dreamland and reach upto zenith in all that you do but the chaos, confusion and self-doubt just drag you down to hell.
I am here today to tell you that whatever you think is going to stay forever, may actually not. And also, whatever you think is not possible now, may come as a surprise you not even think of. Sounds weird?? Well, mothers are weird, aren’t they? Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that I (that’s FUTURE YOU !!) am now a mother of a 6month old baby boy!! Gosh, and you thought you would never marry! Life has its own funny surprises, you see.
So, basically as a wise mother I want you to know that there are several points to ponder and things to take care of right now, i.e. in your teenage, so that you don’t mess up things and end up being a more satisfied, wise, happy ADULT!! Read on-
1. There’s no Love like Parent’s Love
As much as you feel like your parents are out to make your life miserable, when you look back, you will see the love in your parent’s hearts. They are just afraid you would make the wrong choices and want to protect you, not control you. Mummy says often, “You will only understand how I feel when you become a parent.” She is right. Thank you, Mom. I understand now. A mother wants to breathe her child’s air before he does to make sure it’s okay for him. Her heart yearns deeply for your success and happiness. Your father does too, but he probably doesn’t know how to express it. Your parent’s love teaches you how to become a parent.
2. Those school friends will be your biggest achievement and prized possession
You know your best friends that you spend so much time with? Several of them are still my best friends. Continue to nurture those relationships. You are exceptionally blessed to have those girls and boys in your life, both then and now. On the other hand, learn to gracefully let go of friendships that are not destined for Lifetime Status. Just because someone was your best friend at one point in time does not mean they always will be. Appreciate your time together and continue to make new friends.
3. Pursue your interests.
I know you’re this one girl who is just not into sports or dance or singing. All you have been doing is studies. But as they say, ” All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, it goes pretty well for you too. See, I know you like reading books and writing what you feel, so go on, read as much as you can and write your heart out because that’s what will keep you up and fresh when you are bogged down by other things. Also, explore more music and art coz I know your secret love for them. Shed off that shyness. Shed off that stage fear. Trust me, nobody will judge you on your looks. You really have an exalted status out there!! Do it now or you will later regret not pursuing what you like the most.
4. You are pretty. Your body is beautiful and triumphant.
I pinched your nerve, didn’t I? This is the one most important thing you need to know. You are beautiful. You never believed it and even today I too sometimes find it difficult to believe, but I now know that beauty lies in the eyes of beholder-it’s not just any other saying. It’s a beautiful fact. Those remarks about your skinny frame and your dusky complexion will vanish forever once you know the meaning of being beautiful. I know, you’ve always been known as the ugly duckling of the family and it causes a heartache that none can bear but still I would tell you again and again, Don’t let your confidence shake coz you think you don’t look good. Trash those face packs and beauty creams, coz they can never bring forth the beautiful girl you are.Your body does and will do amazing things. And yes, if you still think that love won’t find you coz of your looks, I would ask you to just wait and watch! You have no idea what wonderful man you’re going to own!!
5. Oh, that first love is not going to stay.
Hey, I know your secret attraction for that guy. Blatantly I would say, you are just torturing yourself by spending hours on messenger waiting for your crush to sign in. Yes, I would tell you to stop being in denial. That boy is just a crush, not your first love. As raw and rude it may sound to you, but the truth is he is not going to stay. No matter how many nights you spend crying and wetting your pillows, no matter how submissive you become for him…. he’s just not meant to be. Although it is painful right now, be grateful that the boy you like doesn’t like you back. You are growing up to marry the perfect man, so please spend your precious youth on more fulfilling and worthwhile pastimes. (see #2 and #3).
6. Life is not a pass through.
Each phase is temporary, but nonetheless shapes who you are and who you will become. Do not discount certain periods of life or wish them away. Understand that getting through one phase in life does not guarantee your struggles will be over: there will always be struggles, but you will grow more equipped to tackle them gracefully.
And now, I will just stop here as I know you don’t like big lectures on how to and what to.
You are a lovely girl and I know you just want to be better, do better, and be an inspiring woman. Rest assured, we(you and I) are continually working on it. Together.
30-year old (mommy) self
This blog post is a part of #Womensdayblogparty .