Category Archives: PARENTING

Decoding Summer The Desi Way

Isn’t it funny that human heart craves for what is not with it and rather chooses to push aside the present gifts into oblivion? Don’t most of us start missing the chills of winters as soon as the Sun starts showing its might and on the contrary crave for the same warm Sun when chilly winters arrive?

It’s been over two months already when Delhi got its fair share of hot sun-kisses and soon we will be welcoming the showers…Well, they are already knocking with roaring thunderstorms pan North India. This Summer of 2018 had me introspecting about the reasons behind ever-rising mercury and how we have started to dread Summers, here in plains. The summer siestas had me all nostalgic of the good old days when our 80s lifestyle had us waiting anxiously for this season. A season with myriad hues of fun,frolic, laughter, reunions and everything bright and sunny!

I was reminiscing the good old summers of my childhood and somewhere in my heart I just made a promise to myself that I would really try my best to reveal the sheer magical Summer of 80s to this Gen-Z baby of mine!

And since, this year’s summer has already started fading, why not bid it adieu in our traditional Desi style and may be give a glimpse to our children what marvels next Summer holds for them!

So are you excited to decode SUMMER and have a ride back into your childhood??


Image result for garden pipe water fun

Summer and splashes are synonymous, don’t you think? As a kid I remember, our parents used to assign household tasks to us on rotation basis. Like for first week tasks like watering the plants, folding the sun-dried laundry and filling up the cooler were divided among we three sisters and then next week the tasks were rotated.

The one who got to water the garden was the happiest for obvious evening splashes. So, it became our ritual to play splash-gun with garden hose after watering the plants and we enjoyed it the most.

Today most of us might not have the luxury of big gardens but we can still dive into the pool, have a mini rubber pool in backyard or if nothing is available, just go desi and have a family rain-dance under the shower 😉 For all other lucky ones with gardens, resort to time-tested fun with garden hoses!! I can already hear the giggles and laughter 😊


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Summers equals Vacations. Reminisce that lush greenery that used to be common in our times in our very own city. Alas, those times are no more and we have to actually move out of town if we wish to soak in nature.

So, how about ditching that trip to some foreign country and instead head to some place in Incredible India where Nature is in its full glory? Unveil the beauty and power of nature which is still unknown to your kids. The waterfalls, the oceans, the mountains, the trees, birds and animals living freely in the wild… Let them pick up those dried twigs and leaves and build up a souvenir of their own. Let them be lost in nature’s majesty…. Let their lungs brim with fresh air. Worried about these destinations being clad in garbage or trash?? Now, that’s a serious assignment for you to show them what damage we have done and discuss the solutions for it. And of course, there still are many beautiful places left in India and hence still some hope left.

M-for Mother Earth


“Our very Being, Essence, Health and Happiness depend on Mother Earth”- David Suzuki

Mother Earth has already given much to us, we have rather taken much from her and it’s high time to give back. It’s so rightly said that we haven’t inherited this Earth from our ancestors, we have borrowed it from our children. So, if you have been able to show a glimpse of what damage we have done to our Mother, it’s a good time this Summer to workout small solutions with your kids. After all, each step counts! 🙂

Here are some pointers that we are practicing in our lifestyle-

->> Use desert coolers instead of AC in dry summers. Let the kids soak in that petrichor kind of divinity emanating from desert-cooler grass. Let them be out of their personal rooms and ACs and sit together in cooler and may be enjoy some board games or how about introducing kids to Antakshari and Dumbsherads? Meanwhile, explain them the benefits of using cooler over AC.

->> Bring home an earthen pitcher( ghada/surahi). I don’t think I need to elaborate its advantages over refrigerated water but still, here are a few-
A) Saving some percentage of electricity bill as no more ajar fridge-doors.

B) Saving environment to whatever little extent from global warming.

C) Saving our kids’ throat from turning sore due to their habit of drinking chilled water straight from the fridge.

D) Helping the small businessmen earn their living in whatever little way possible.

You can encourage kids to paint the pot and then use for drinking water from it. I am sure they would love it!

->>Plant some more trees, cultivate a home garden, reuse the RO water, reduce waste, keep water & food for birds are just some of the little gestures we can bring back from our times and inculcate in our Gen-Z.

Think of more desi ways that you can incorporate into your summer lifestyle to help revive our Mother Earth and don’t forget to share in comments. ☺️


Image result for kids making lemonade

AAhhh.. remember those yummilicious simple Desi recipes straight from mumma’s kitchen – the mango pannah, bel ka sharbat, homemade rooh-afzah kulfi, fruit popsicles, chilled fruit custard….ummmm ! Mummy ka magic prevailed all through the summer right from homemade food to curbing our boredom by making tepees from her saarees – wasn’t our childhood so simple yet magically creative?

It’s time for role-reversal! Let’s ditch the aerated soft drinks and instead guide our kids to make their own summer-coolers and some indoor fun games in personal tepee made out of saaree and dupattas! Show them your magic!


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Image result for hopscotch

Yeah, yeah- Outdoors is a NO in Summers, but tell me which parents have been successful in chaining their juniors inside four walls?? Our parents couldn’t do it nor can WE!

So, let them roll outside for a while, of course, when the blazen sun is a bit mellow in evenings. Take them to some lush green park if you can. The more kids, the more fun it is. Let them relive your childhood by monkeying around trees, jumping and hopping. Play outdoor hide and seek, hopscotch, dodge ball, chain chain, seven stones, kho-kho and whatever games you can remember playing when you were a kid.

It may seem hilarious to our juniors if you tell them that most of the fun in our times were during night time Power-Failures! We rushed to backyard or terrace with mats and bed-sheets… made our beds on floor and just lied down gazing at stars or singing random songs, making up ghost stories and what not!! Why not arrange a Star-Gazing Night Party on terrace for our kids, let them name their stars and have 80s fun !

And finally….


Image result for cousin fun

The best memories of my childhood summers is- going to Nani’s place and wreak a havoc there with alll my cousins! Gosh, those times..I can write another blog on that.

In today’s virtually connected world, we have lost almost all physical ties with our friends and family. We don’t have time to go meet them or call them over because of so many summer-camps our child has to attend, because of our pre-booked foreign vacations , work-commitments or because of several other important and not-so-important reasons.

Our children are not only deprived of the fun they can have with cousins and extended family but also a lifetime BOND. Don’t you think this also essential for our kids’ EQ? So, what are you waiting for… go get calling your cousins and friends along with their Bachcha-party and create some beautiful moments together 🙂

(All Image Source from Google Baba)



This post is a part of the blog train where 24 awe-inspiring bloggers, are going to share their story of ‘Summer’. Hop on the train to read some amazing blogs. This ‘Summer Blog Train’ is organized by Neha Sharma from Growing With Nemit .

I want to thank PRIYANKA who blogs at https://mommynshanaya.wordpress.comfor introducing me in her blog post. Now the train will move to the station of AMITOJ of Tryingtobesupermom Do show some love to her blog post as well.



If you too have been born and brought up in an Indian family set-up, you need no explanation of how even our daily practical chores have been divided based on gender. Since time immemorial, cooking, cleaning, laundry and other domestic fronts are designated for females and tasks involving physical strength, finances and decision-making have been allotted to males. Just or unjust? I don’t want to get into that debate but yes! ever since I have become a mother, I know in my head what practical lessons my son needs to learn, of course, irrespective of his gender!!

A mother-son bond is just overwhelming. It has been only a year since I held a cute little ball of life in my hands and shed tears of joy as his tiny hand curled up around my finger tightly. The sense of responsibility I felt was just as strong as the absolute love I felt for my baby boy. As the time passes on its own pace, that innate sense of duty makes me question myself every night – have I been a good mother today? In the sense, what have I taught my child that will help him become a better human, a good person, a man in the crowd of boys – someone who is not dependent on others to live, to live well.

Besides the emotional and non-tangible lessons, I feel there are a few practical things I need to teach my son which society would have expected from him, if he was a girl. Meh! So, let me just leave this boy-girl thing and call these life-skills which my kid should know –


We live in a country where mothers tend to ply kids with food all the time. And pamper them with what they like. Paradoxically, the onus of the kitchen mostly relies on women – despite the fact that a lot of leading chefs are men. I have seen my MIL fretting over “Mera Beta Kya Khaega..kaise rahega” when she had to accompany me to hometown for my delivery. If men can feel hungry and want to eat, they must also be able to cook. Makes sense, right? The gender bias that exists in terms of only women having the responsibility of cooking irks me. More importantly, in today’s day and age, it is redundant. I need to teach cooking to my son so that if I am late at work, he won’t remain hungry and can feed himself. This also means he can survive all by himself if he is away from home when he grows up. Rather basic. Also, let’s just face it, there is something special about a man who can cook his own meals.

 Keeping things tidy:

Thankfully, this trait exists in my husband and he takes care of the cleanliness at home just as I would do.  However, I have seen ladies shrugging off the mess created by their SONS just because they are boys. General response- “Ab ladke sunte hi kaha hain, unka to kaam hi ganda karna hai”  Ugh!! House strewn with shoes, clothes and stuffs is an absolute NO for me. I confess that lately my home is a bit messed up, given that bub is only 12 months of age. But, his being a BOY would never come in way of teaching him the importance of a tidy surrounding.

 Money Matters:

In an era of single kids, we tend to spoil them by giving them whatever they wish for. No wonder, they fail to know the worth of money. Though there’s still some time left for my bub to get trained in finances but still there are little things which I would follow which my parents did to me.  I was taken out shopping with them – whether it is for groceries or other stuff. They made sure that I counted the money given by them at the cash counter and check the change or balance we got back. In addition, apart from the fixed monthly pocket-money of Rupees Five, I used to get some payment done for extra work assigned like painting the garden pots, washing Papa’s scooter. All this added up to be my savings which I could use for buying my fancied items, if any.

 Respect for fellow beings:

I have always believed that respect is earned- through your deeds. I will make sure that my kid respects all his fellow beings- irrespective of gender, age etc. He should know that he has got no right, whatsoever, to hurt any soul. There is already enough hate prevailing and we just can not afford to pass it on to next generation. The world needs to be smeared with love and respect and my baby should definitely be one of the peace-mongers.

Like all mothers, I love my son so much. I want him to be the best man he can be.  Not for me but for him, his future family and the world in general. My son needs to know that if he wants to be the head of his household, he jolly well should deserve to be there. The responsibilities will prepare him to be able to lead his household, and it won’t happen simply because he is a man.


HelpImage courtesy: Google

Pregnant And Hungry??

First of all Many Congratulations for entering a realm which is full of myriad emotions!! I can vouch that the chaos, confusion, excitement, happiness, bliss all the feelings bombing inside your hearts will make this journey worth remembering!!

Now, since you’ve landed upon this article, it certainly means you are baffled about what to eat and what to avoid during pregnancy. Is your mom’s, aunt’s or neighbor’s differing advice for the best pregnancy foods making you all the more perplexed? If this sounds like you, then this post my friend, is dedicated to you!

What you eat during pregnancy will play a crucial role in your unborn baby’s growth, development and health. It is important to eat right in these special months, and it can be difficult to keep a track of what you should eat so that your baby gets the right nutrition.

Eating right and healthy is always important but it’s only during pregnancy that we realize it’s worth. No one food group can provide your unborn baby and you with the nutrition that you need during these months. If you have been eating well till now, you are most likely on the right path already. However, if your diet was poor till now, or you were not including all nutrition groups in your everyday diet, you will have to make some changes.

The beauty of Indian diet is that it is rich in all the nutritional requirements that both you and your baby need during the pregnancy months. It will help you gain the right amount of weight and will also provide your body the energy it needs to help support your baby as well as keep you healthy and fit and in good shape for the delivery.

Here’s a look at some easy Peasy dishes that should constitute your diet chart.

How To Spread Out Your Diet Through The Day:

To make sure that what you eat helps your body and also helps you stay interested, spread out your food through the day by following different food ideas.

While you are pregnant, it is important to make sure that you first check about anything that you eat or drink with your doctor. Even though the suggested foods are considered healthy, your doctor will be the best person to assess your overall health and give you the go-ahead. Once you have a confirmation, here is how you can spread out the meal plan through the day:

1. Early morning Snack:

A glass of plain cow’s milk

Almond milk


Apple juice

Tomato juice

Dry fruits


2. Breakfast:

Bowl of fruits

Wheat rava upma with lots of vegetables

Poha with lots of vegetables

Oats porridge

Whole wheat toast with butter and omelet

Vegetable omelet

Paranthas with fillings of spinach, dal, potatoes, carrots, beans, cottage cheese, cheese with curd

Mixed bean cutlet or patties

Some fruits to go along with the breakfast such as apricots, dates, sweet fig, banana, oranges

Cheese toast or cheese and vegetable sandwich

Rice sevai with lots of vegetables

Besan /Ragi /Rava Chilla with veggies

Broken wheat porridge

Vegetable idlis


3. Mid-Morning Snack:

Tomato soup

Spinach soup

Creamy spinach soup

Carrot and beet soup

Chicken soup


4. Lunch:

Roti with choice of dal, vegetable and a bowl of curd

Parantha with dal and a bowl of curd

Carrot and peas parantha with a bowl of curd and some butter

Jeera or pea rice with raita

Rice, dal and vegetable with vegetable salad

Lemon rice with peas and some vegetable salad

Vegetable khichdi

Chicken salad with lots of fresh vegetables or vegetable soup

Chicken curry with rice

Grilled chicken with a bowl of curd

Rice, dal, mint raita and a fruit

Kofta curry with rice

Cottage cheese parantha with butter and vegetable salad

Curd rice

Parantha with sprouted beans salad


5. Evening Snack:

Cheese and corn sandwich

Vegetable idli

Spinach and tomato idli

Sevaiya with lots of vegetables

Carrot or lauki halwa

Fruit smoothie with fresh fruits such as banana or strawberry

Roasted peanut mixture with vegetables

Bread -veggies cutlet

Chicken cutlet

Chicken sandwich

Chicken soup

A bowl of dried dates or dry fruits

A cup of green tea

Milk porridge with oats, sevai or daliya

Vegetable daliya

Mixed vegetable uttapam


6. Dinner:

Rice with dal, spinach vegetable, and some green salad

Roti with a bowl of dal, a vegetable of choice and a glass of buttermilk

Mixed dal khichdi with a vegetable curry and a bowl of curd

Vegetable pulaoor chicken rice with a bowl of yogurt

Plain parantha with a glass of buttermilk


Is It Important To Add Any Supplements To Your Indian Pregnancy Diet?

Your doctor will tell you whether or not you need to add any supplements to your diet while you are pregnant. Here are a few conditions in which your doctor may feel you would need a supplement, so make sure that you discuss it with your doctor:

If you are too nauseous, it can be difficult for you to eat properly, especially in the first trimester. Your doctor may suggest that you go for a mineral and vitamin supplement along with your regular food, as it will help to give you the minerals and vitamins that are important during pregnancy.

If you are a vegetarian or follow any other dietary restrictions due to religious or other reasons, you may be at the risk of contracting some nutritional deficiency. Speak to your doctor about the same to see if you need some supplements.

One supplement that you will be asked to take while you are pregnant is folic acid. Taking a folic acid supplement while you are pregnant will help prevent various birth defects in your unborn baby, especially neural tube birth defects such as spina bifida. Your doctor will most likely prescribe you a folic acid supplement only after you are 12 weeks pregnant.

In addition to folic acid supplements, your doctor will also prescribe you some iron supplements. Taking an iron supplement will make sure that your body gets the right amount of blood, and you are not deficient in your energy levels. Your doctor will regularly check your iron levels at each appointment to check the dosage of iron supplements that you need.

Your doctor may also advise you about supplements depending on your medical condition, such as if you are suffering from diabetes, have anemia or have a history of pregnancy complications from earlier pregnancies.


A Few Tips To Remember While Eating During Your Pregnancy:

Keeping a check on what you eat while you are pregnant is as important as understanding how you should eat it.

Here are a few tips that will be of help, especially while you are pregnant:

No matter what you want to eat, ensure you consult your doctor first. Something that is healthy for someone else who is pregnant may not be as safe or healthy for you. Your doctor will assess your medical condition and advise you accordingly.

If you feel uncomfortable after eating something, or notice any rashes or redness on your face or skin, make a note of what you ate and keep it with you. Avoid eating it again and speak to your doctor about it.

Do not give up on oil, ghee or butter for the fear of gaining excess weight. A little amount of fat is important for both you and your baby and you should have some each day while you are pregnant. If you are overweight, speak to your doctor about how much fat you can safely include in your diet.

Make sure to have some amount of dry fruits in your everyday diet.

Use salt in moderation, as having too much salt will make your body retain more water, which can further increase your swelling while you are pregnant.

Add fruits to your everyday diet as your body will need the natural sugars that are present in fruits. Avoid eating too much sugar otherwise.

Try to eat at home as much as you can and have fresh homemade food to avoid the risk of infection.

Avoid eating pre-packaged heat-and-eat meals as these are heavily processed and are not a good food choice while you are pregnant.

If you are going to eat outside, check the ingredients that will be used in whatever meal you are ordering. It will help you identify food items that you are allergic to or that your doctor has asked you to avoid eating while you are pregnant.

Make sure that while you are eating out, you choose a place that is clean and hygienic and you have food there before. If you want to eat out at a new place, avoid ordering anything exotic, especially if you are not sure about their kitchen and their overall food quality.

Do not stay hungry and make sure to eat something or the other after every two hours or so, even if you do not feel hungry. While you are pregnant, you will tend to feel nauseous and may not want to eat at all. However, it is important that you keep eating something, especially if you have vomited, as otherwise you have the risk of getting dehydrated. Keep replenishing your body with liquids such as soups, fresh fruit juices or milkshakes.

To avoid feeling bloated or too full and avoid any nausea attacks, space out your meals to six or seven meal times in the day. Keep the food portions to small portions at each meal time instead of having very big ones.

Do not try to cut down on food while you are pregnant, thinking that it will help you lose weight later. If you eat right and include the right balance of nutrients in your daily diet while you are pregnant, it will help you reduce the baby fat later with much ease.

An Indian diet for pregnant women is rich in all the food groups that will help you be healthy and fat and will also provide your unborn baby with the right amount of nutrition. Make sure you speak to your doctor and plan accordingly.

Hoping this guide will help you enjoy this beautiful journey without staying hungry! 😝😝

If you found this post to be of help do share it with your preggy-gang.

Happy Eating 😊

Preparing for Baby’s Arrival? 


It seems as if yesterday that I used to surf blogs and articles about how-to, what-to and what-not-to during and after pregnancy. The bouts of emotions and anxiety leaves the moms-to-be in stress all the more when they are advised to abstain from it. There are a million things that need attention as soon as you discover that you’re about to bring a new life on this planet. You want to leave no stone unturned in this journey and arrange the best of the things for your soon-to-arrive little angel.

As a first time mother, it was very overwhelming when we realized that a baby needs so many things. But when we saw the many, many lists out there we realized that we don’t need to buy ALL of those things before the baby comes. If we just bought the most essential items, we could get every thing else as and when we need it. Most of the families believe in NOT buying baby essentials before the baby actually comes due to traditional beliefs. Same was the case with my family but with my personal experience I would suggest to be prepared with some basic important items that are needed in the first few days of baby arrival because you should not expect your relatives to give you those items and also you will not be in a state to do away with those essentials as well !

In the last four weeks of my pregnancy, my husband and I got our house baby-ready (coming soon) and stocked up on some of the essential supplies we would need when the baby arrived.

As a pro tip now, I would definitely recommend the moms-to-be to go for online shopping to save you the hassle of visiting umpteen stores for that perfect deal. You surely have variety of things to choose from with fine quality and the best thing is that all the goodies are delivered at your doorstep. If still in any case you want to explore the market streets yourself, there’s no stopping you!!

So here’s a list of things we bought (and some I think you should add to your list) before the baby came. The items listed here are embedded with a link which would redirect you to e-commerce website for ease in your shopping spree. If you’re lucky you might end up in getting some awesome online deals as festive season is round the corner and e-retailers do offer some attractive offers!! So, let’s get started-:


  1. Clothes

We got a lot of hand-me-downs from friends and family and that saved us a lot of money on baby clothes. But when you buy clothes, list out what the weather in your city be like and baby’s age. Buy newborn clothes accordingly and don’t be tempted to stock on a lot coz babies tend to outgrow the clothes superquick.

In most of the families, people end up getting many clothes as gifts also so you basically might be needing baby nappies  to buy yourself and your relatives will take care of the most of the things.

You can never go wrong with onesies, so stock up on 6-8 of them at least. In addition, you can get pyjama sets (top & bottom), sleep suits (covered feet and hands for when it’s cold at night), caps, socks.

We bought mittens too but could not make baby keep them on for more than a few minutes so I recommend that you don’t waste money on them. Plus I read that mittens actually hinder sensory development, and it is better to let babies get to feel their face and other things with their hands without the mittens blocking them.

  1. Diapers and diaper bag 

We stocked up on at least a month’s supply of diapers and baby wipes. However, if you want to go traditional way of using cloth nappies you should be prepared to change baby’s clothes and the sheet under her every time she pees or poops (which is very often during those first few days because newborns pee and poop round the clock.) If you plan to cloth diaper or use nappies, you may need at least 8-10 each day.  So depending on your laundry schedule, buy nappies/cloth diapers accordingly. Also, if you plan to use nappies, consider getting more blankets and onesies and other clothing too. Also a diaper bag which is a quintessential item, needs to be prepared before the baby arrives because after discharging from hospital you will need to revisit your gyane within a week or so for baby’s progress n yours too. Diaper bag becomes handy with all the baby essentials in it.

  1. Bedding
  • If you plan to co-sleep, you won’t need more than 2-3 blankets, quick dry sheet, baby foldable bed with a net (if there are mosquitoes where you live.)
  • If you plan to use a baby crib, you will need, in addition to the above, crib, crib sheets, net.

You can skip pillows, bolsters, crib bumpers, and decorative pillows because it is usually advised to keep the baby’s crib clutter-free. If you want a pillow, consider getting one filled with mustard seeds as that usually takes the shape of baby’s head. I also used that horse-shoe shaped pillow or some 10-15days but kept it away as soon as I came to know about its ill-effects. 

  1. Toys & other items – To keep newborns engaged and entertained you can get

*Babies can entertain themselves with the other toys but you will have to shake the rattle before them.

5. One pack of Formula Milk and feeding bottles– 

Though every mother wants to breastfeed her baby right from the time of delivery till as long as she can but there may be times when you are unable to do so. Especially when mothers who undergo C-section quite often complain of not lactating properly, Formula milk comes handy as an SOS. You can talk to your gynae before hand about the brand you wish to buy (I used Nan Pro1). Buy a feeding bottle as well for this purpose.

6. Other Utilities –

Other things we got were: burp cloths, hooded towels, swaddle cloths (however, swaddling didn’t work for my wriggly baby) , baby oil, shampoo, baby wash (I used Mama Earth products and still continuing it), moisturiser, detergent, nappy cream, nail clippers, hair brush, hand sanitizer. 

Things to keep in mind:

  •  It’s always a good idea to let older family members like your mother or grandmother or mother-in-law to massage the baby if you aren’t up for it yet.
  • Watch videos on how to breastfeed and how to ensure deep latch. This will save you a lot of pain and confusion later on.
  • BONUS TIP: Many families have a tradition where the parents of mom-to-be gift the baby essentials including clothes, toys etc.  In that case you can ask your parents/relatives to check the stuff online and get it with no hassle. Also, if they live in a different city than yours, they can get the stuff delivered to you directly! Isn’t that a win-win for all of us? 🙂 


  • Post Partum Essentials – Sanitary Pads, comfy pillow, a cook, cleaner, and a 24-hour personal attendant for the first 18 years. 😜
  • Nursing Essentials – nursing bras, nursing-friendly dresses/tops, nursing pads, nursing pillow, breast pump (if you may need)
  • Sanity Essentials – Baby Carrier. I wish I had known about it earlier. It is a life saver! Especially during days when baby will only sleep in your arms. I did not get a chance to babywear but in my recent researches about it I found that baby-carriers provide support for a tiny new born’s neck too. This would really come in handy during sleep regressions of baby.


This journey you are embarking upon is going to be the most wonderful one and you would definitely want to document your life. So if you plan to do that, you might consider looking for and sourcing milestone cards and/or stickers, cute photo props that you can use in your pictures, a baby book where you can stick pictures and make notes, etc.


Here are a few Facebook Groups that helped me in those early days. Its not necessary to ask questions but you can learn a lot by going through posts and discussions.

    • Breastfeeding Support for Indian Mother
    • Apps like BabyCenter, The Bump, and What to Expect not only give you weekly pregnancy updates, but also give you weekly baby updates. You will also find relevant articles shared with you on a weekly basis depending on the age of your baby.

That’s all for now. It is important to remember that this is a list of the bare minimum essentials you may need before baby arrives. Depending on your budget and lifestyle you may want to purchase fewer or more items. All the Best!

Wish you the most blissful times ahead! ☺️


Guilty Gene in a Mom’s DNA

Motherhood is a mystical experience. You have bouts of joy one second and in the other you will find yourself recluse! One day you are bright as a sunshine while on other you may be gloomy as a dark cloud.  And who else than female hormones are to be blamed for it? Yes, most of our sanity is lost during the journey of motherhood coz of these damn hormones! The boss of these emotional bouts being GUILT! 

I think as soon as a woman delivers a baby, a guilty gene gets embedded in her DNA which expresses itself time and again. The mommas are epitome of guilt. Guilt of not doing enough for the baby. Guilt of being selfish at times by taking a 10minute nap. Guilt of forgetting to give almonds to baby in the morning. Guilt of not being able to play with him due to household chores. And to top it Guilt when the baby hurts himself accidentally. It’s a guilty world and we have to thrive in it.

Day before yesterday, I put my wriggly baby on the bed and turned to the closet to take out his nappy. In a jiffy, I turned back with a loud shriek only to find him wailing on the floor! Yes, he fell from the bed again.. it was the third time in last 6months. Why does it happen only when I am around? Why can’t I keep an eye on him? Why didn’t I cling him upon me while taking out the nappy? Why am I so careless? All these umpteen whys flashed across my mind while I quickly bent to take him into my lap. I tried to console him ,kiss him but all in vain. My husband, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law all came into room hearing to my shriek.

My baby is a sensitive child as in whenever he hurts himself, he turns his face away from the person in whose presence the accident happened as if he is blaming the person for not taking care of him. He is only 7months old and I don’t know how to teach him that he should not blame the person or circumstances in which the accident occurred. May be I will figure it out with time! On seeing rest of the family members, my baby just wanted to leave me and jumped towards his Dadi (GrandMom). She took him away and tried to soothe him. I wanted to breastfeed him so that may be it will soothe him and I can be close to him but my MIL suggested to prepare the formula instead, citing the reason “wo abhi tumhare pas bilkul nahi aaega” (he won’t come to you at all right now). I was holding myself till then but now just burst into tears. I blamed myself, cursed myself. I cried in agony with an unknown fear that one day my child will no longer want me. His needs are catered to by his Dadi well and thus one day I will be nowhere in his life.

I am currently on child care leave and in two months I have to resume my office. Just the thought of leaving him and going to office gave me shivers. Guilt just wreaked havoc in my heart!

All this while my husband sat near me holding my hand consoling me and I cried my heart out in front of him. After half an hour he brought the baby into my room. I was scared to hold him and looked at him with my wet guilty eyes. My baby had forgotten his pain and he just jumped towards me. He smiled at me and I burst into tears out of joy. Oh! these tears…They have to come out every time whether I am angry or sad or happy… They are the only means of conveying my thoughts.

As a mother I wonder what is the best way to overcome this guilt phenomenon which we encounter on daily basis. How can we convince ourselves that we are doing a great job and a bit of imperfection just adds to the beauty of motherhood? Our babies love us as much as we do then why do we become unsure at times?

Time is a great teacher and motherhood is all about learning! I just hope that I muster courage to overcome my guilty gene and give my baby all that is good for him. I wish I, together with my baby, learn these life lessons of rising and falling, winning and losing, laughing and crying and learn to gracefully accept all that life has to offer!

Do share your guilt moments and how did you overcome them.

Breastfeeding Simplified!

On January 31st 2017, I got to feel the bliss of motherhood for the first time in life. Motherhood comes with its own set of wows and woes. The biggest and most common woes is not being able to breastfeed your baby !! I did not suffer from any medical condition but I was not lactating. After the second day of my baby boy’s birth, he was given to me for breastfeeding. Being a first time mom I did not know how to take the baby in my arms properly, or how to latch him on my nipples. Breastfeeding our baby is the most beautiful feeling. The moment the baby latches on our breast and starts suckling milk gives us immense satisfaction. But sometimes because of some medical conditions or lack of knowledge, new moms delay breastfeeding, reducing milk supply.

Well, I was one of those moms. I had a c-section and after operation, the doctor came once or twice and told me how to breastfeed and instructed the nurses to help me. I was waiting eagerly for my baby to wake up so that I could breastfeed him. After a few hours, he started crying for milk and I took him in my arms and tried to feed him. But he was not latching. I tried hard and called the nurse for help. She came and held the baby in a way so that he can latch and start suckling. My son tried but started crying. So the nurse gave him formula milk. After a few hours I tried feeding my baby again, but I couldn’t. Again I called nurse for help and she said angrily, “Madam apke nipples hi nahi bane hain, baby suck nahi kar pa raha (Your nipples have not been formed well and hence baby can’t suck).” My mother-in-law insisted to give my baby formula and seeing him cry I also gave in. After sometime I again tried to feed my baby but in vain. I again called the sister. She then checked my breasts and pressed them hard and told me, “Doodh nahi aa raha aapko (You are not lactating).” After that she came with a blunt-end syringe and tried expressing milk with it but the result was extremely painful and yielded only a few drops of milk(colostrum). Whenever my baby was crying I myself was trying to express milk through the syringe. In spite of extreme pain I was trying again and again but there was no milk and the result was sore nipples and fever. I tried everything from moong ke dal, dalia to oxytocin injection but nothing worked. I used to cry at night seeing my baby cry for milk and the torturous thought of not producing milk for my baby. Relatives were coming to see me and my baby and were sharing their story of having huge amount of milk for their baby flowing out of their clothes every time. After every visit, I used to feel as if I have committed a big crime by not producing milk and by feeding my baby formula milk.

Advice That Changed Everything

By third day my baby boy was diagnosed with jaundice and hence he was shifted to NICU for phototherapy. After some hours the nurse called me to that phototherapy ward as my baby was hungry.

I told the nurse that I was not lactating and was unable to feed my baby. I asked her to go with the formula instead. I believe Goddess Shakti came in the disguise of this young 20 something nurse as her gestures, advice and efforts changed everything. This nurse  kept her hand lovingly on my shoulder and asked me, “Why do you think you can’t produce milk?”

I just started crying not because I was not producing milk but because of the love and care I was getting which I had been craving for so long.

I narrated to her the whole story of my efforts and the zero result. She looked at me with a divine smile, held my hand and said, “Mam, there is nothing like non-lactating. Every mother can lactate. This is a gift given by God to all mothers. Some mothers may take time because of some reasons but they lactate. The most important thing for a new mother is good food with relaxed, stress-free mind.

You just take this negative thought out of your mind that you can’t produce milk for your baby because it will only affect your milk supply. Just continue feeding your baby. The more the baby suckles, the more will be the milk-production. Trust me and you will see the result by your own”.

After that she first tried extracting some colostrum with a blunt syringe and kept motivating me..with our efforts 4 5 spoonful of milk came out. She went and gave it to my baby in NICU. She then came back and took me in wheelchair to my baby. Nurses were very cooperative and stood beside me till the time I was breastfeeding my baby. I allowed my baby to suck my nipples as long as he wanted.

 The very next day I found the milk coming! I was discharged after two days from the hospital too as my baby had recovered from jaundice.

That nurse instructed me to continue breastfeeding and waved me a loving goodbye.

After this I continued breastfeeding. Though the supply was still less, but I WAS lactating.

My boy is 6 months now and we have become a pro at it. Sometimes I feel if that nurse had not been there to guide me and motivate me, I would have resorted to formula and would never have the blissful feeling breastfeeding gives. My Message To New Mothers, Doctors & All Other Women I want to tell all new mothers – be positive when starting to breastfeed your baby. Try different positions to latch baby but don’t give up hope. Remember that you are bestowed with all the essentials of a mother that’s why God has gifted you this motherhood.  #Happyfeeding #breastfeedingweek