Guilty Gene in a Mom’s DNA

Motherhood is a mystical experience. You have bouts of joy one second and in the other you will find yourself recluse! One day you are bright as a sunshine while on other you may be gloomy as a dark cloud.  And who else than female hormones are to be blamed for it? Yes, most of our sanity is lost during the journey of motherhood coz of these damn hormones! The boss of these emotional bouts being GUILT! 

I think as soon as a woman delivers a baby, a guilty gene gets embedded in her DNA which expresses itself time and again. The mommas are epitome of guilt. Guilt of not doing enough for the baby. Guilt of being selfish at times by taking a 10minute nap. Guilt of forgetting to give almonds to baby in the morning. Guilt of not being able to play with him due to household chores. And to top it Guilt when the baby hurts himself accidentally. It’s a guilty world and we have to thrive in it.

Day before yesterday, I put my wriggly baby on the bed and turned to the closet to take out his nappy. In a jiffy, I turned back with a loud shriek only to find him wailing on the floor! Yes, he fell from the bed again.. it was the third time in last 6months. Why does it happen only when I am around? Why can’t I keep an eye on him? Why didn’t I cling him upon me while taking out the nappy? Why am I so careless? All these umpteen whys flashed across my mind while I quickly bent to take him into my lap. I tried to console him ,kiss him but all in vain. My husband, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law all came into room hearing to my shriek.

My baby is a sensitive child as in whenever he hurts himself, he turns his face away from the person in whose presence the accident happened as if he is blaming the person for not taking care of him. He is only 7months old and I don’t know how to teach him that he should not blame the person or circumstances in which the accident occurred. May be I will figure it out with time! On seeing rest of the family members, my baby just wanted to leave me and jumped towards his Dadi (GrandMom). She took him away and tried to soothe him. I wanted to breastfeed him so that may be it will soothe him and I can be close to him but my MIL suggested to prepare the formula instead, citing the reason “wo abhi tumhare pas bilkul nahi aaega” (he won’t come to you at all right now). I was holding myself till then but now just burst into tears. I blamed myself, cursed myself. I cried in agony with an unknown fear that one day my child will no longer want me. His needs are catered to by his Dadi well and thus one day I will be nowhere in his life.

I am currently on child care leave and in two months I have to resume my office. Just the thought of leaving him and going to office gave me shivers. Guilt just wreaked havoc in my heart!

All this while my husband sat near me holding my hand consoling me and I cried my heart out in front of him. After half an hour he brought the baby into my room. I was scared to hold him and looked at him with my wet guilty eyes. My baby had forgotten his pain and he just jumped towards me. He smiled at me and I burst into tears out of joy. Oh! these tears…They have to come out every time whether I am angry or sad or happy… They are the only means of conveying my thoughts.

As a mother I wonder what is the best way to overcome this guilt phenomenon which we encounter on daily basis. How can we convince ourselves that we are doing a great job and a bit of imperfection just adds to the beauty of motherhood? Our babies love us as much as we do then why do we become unsure at times?

Time is a great teacher and motherhood is all about learning! I just hope that I muster courage to overcome my guilty gene and give my baby all that is good for him. I wish I, together with my baby, learn these life lessons of rising and falling, winning and losing, laughing and crying and learn to gracefully accept all that life has to offer!

Do share your guilt moments and how did you overcome them.

#FreedomFromBias- Looking from a Man’s View

Prejudice is the child of ignorance and it is one of the dangerous obstacles in progress too. Be it the progress of oneself, a family or in a larger picture a nation. It's been 70 years of our country's freedom from the slavery of British but sadly our minds and souls are still a slave to numerous kinds of irrational thoughts and biases. 

 Right from a child is born our society pushes him into a dark well of prejudice and ignorance. Right from its birth he is immersed in the biased ideologies based on gender, colour, caste and what not. The most deteriorating among them all being the one based on gender. The word Gender Inequality makes us think of the poor women facing atrocities however this inequality derogates all genders-males, females or transgender. From ages women have been subjugated by the deeply rooted patriarchal system of the society. But more often than not the Masculine Human is also thrashed with biasness in everyday life which goes sheerly unnoticed and knowingly or unknowingly paves way for an unjust society.

Our day to day life gestures and inculcated thoughts give way to bias against men too and I think  this is also to a great extent responsible towards the unwarranted behaviour done towards women of our society. Let's have a look how we discriminate boys against girls- 

1.  Bias against "Gender-specific" professions – dancers, nurses etc.

A lot of men who get into professions like dancing, nursing etc. face ridicule. Men are expected to take up more 'manly' professions like engineering , medical, law etc. Our society has already prescribed gender to many occupations – which can result in a bias for those that break this norm. Rarely we see parents encouraging their sons to pursue dance, music or arts as their career. Even Chetan Bhagat- a renowned writer has shared his woes on the same.

2 . Stigma for stay-at-home dads

India is still hugely orthodox when it comes to men staying at home looking after the children. If mothers immediately quit their jobs when a baby is due, then why can't the father? Why isn't the father allotted a paternity leave? It's time we let go of this bias against dads and grant them the time they deserve with their children. I guess if the men are given freedom from this bias then the huge discomfort faced by working women in managing home affairs can also be taken care of. 

3. "Men don't cry – Be a Man! Be Tough!"

Men who cry are supposed to be 'weak'. 'Ladki jaise rota hai'. How can a man cry after all " Mard ko dard nahi hota". Being weak is considered to be feminine. Why do we deny men the right to be emotional? Besides, being a 'man' inadvertently means being aggressive, tough and strong. Fighting with men is supposed to be 'a guy thing' and we can all see that's plain wrong. Men have feelings, men can feel fear and pain. If a man doesn't want to fight he doesn't have to be ridiculed. Let's break away from distorted and in fact, violent ideas about masculinity.


Husband earning less than his wife feels 'let down'

In our society, if a wife earns more than her husband, it's considered to be insulting for the man. This is because we ascribe power to the man's salary. With a higher earning partner, a man faces an ego battle with her and within himself. We have to let go of these antiquated ideas. A man need not feel ashamed of himself if the wife is earning more than him. 

'The Man of the house' syndrome

'Man of the house' often means being the breadwinner of the family. Men are also supposed to be the head of the finances and furthermore, expected to fix the bulb! Women can share these responsibilities and its undue pressure on men to be expected to provide for the whole family. 

Always the 'protector' and never the 'protected'

A man is always supposed to stand up for his sister, girlfriend, wife, mother etc. He is supposed to beat up a man who insults his family, particularly the 'woman'. Why is he always supposed to be the 'protector'? Today a lot of women are learning not to depend on the 'man' and learning how to take care of themselves at all times they can. Furthermore, a man has to let his guard down and sometimes let a 'woman' stand up for him. Why can't we train our sons and daughters equally to protect themselves and others?

Bias/ridicule against anything 'girly' or even 'gay'.

It's wise to note how a lot of traits considered to be girly are shunned by the 'real man'. "I'm not weak! I'm physically strong! I'm not small!" Yes, unlike a 'woman'.

There is a lot of sexist bias women, and even homosexuals or transgenders face. The same sexism is faced by men as well. Sexism and gender bias can hurt all people – and it's time we come together to nip this in the bud.

Sexism/Gender bias Hurts Everyone

We have to face that gender bias hurts not only one gender, but all genders and all kinds of people. We have to work towards ridding our society of it. Gender-based crimes are a direct result of gender bias and sexism. Even our top-most politicians, police, law-makers, educationists and people in positions of authority have often made sexist comments. We have to free our culture of sexism.

We all have a combination of feminine and masculine traits. Emotions are human and there's nothing wrong with them. We have to learn to manage them in healthy ways and it has to be taught from a young age. 

Let's pledge to have freedom from bias of all sorts!!

The Grandeur of Grandparents

Sunday, the 10th September 2017 happens to be the International Grandparents Day and honestly speaking I didn’t have any idea that such a day exists. Despite a lot of debate revolving around the celebration of days marked for fathers, mothers, siblings etc I confess that I believe in celebrating these days because I think on such special occasions we get an opportunity to voice our tender emotions which are otherwise left buried deep in hearts due to our never ending hectic schedules. 

So, I came across this instagram post of Blogadda where in I got to know about the Grandparents’ Day! They had asked us about the ways we would like to spend this day with our grandparents. This left me thinking about them.
Grandparents are probably called so because of the grandeur they add to the family. With the silver in their hair and gold in their hearts they make our lives nothing less than a treasure. Their wisdom, faith and the will to closely knit the family is what makes the world a better place to live!

As I sit down to write this, I am reminiscent of the good old days of innocence and mischiefs at my Nani’s place. The sad state of the institution of marriage is that girls ought to leave their families to move in with their husbands. And when we girls enter motherhood it becomes all the more difficult to give way to our whims and fancies of doing what we want in  blink of an eye. How I wish I could surprise my Nani ji by meeting her in person and since she has become “Great Grand Mother” she surely deserves some more mischief by her great-grandkid.  Due to her ill health it is not possible for her to travel and I have a 7month old baby to provide for, which makes both of us helpless to meet more often. 

But if a Jeanie grants me my wish and lets me spend this special day with her that would be the best thing ever! Although, just one day would never be sufficient to live all those wonderful memories yet I would make full efforts to reap it to its maximum. As I take an imaginative joy-ride with my Nani, I can see myself reaching to her place and first of all give a tight bear hug to my 4 feet tall Nani. We would then sit down together in mandir (temple at home), her favorite place and chat our hearts out while she spins her cotton threads to make the wicks for diyas (earthen lamps). She would also sing to me her latest self-composed hymns and would urge me to hum along. After that we would cook together our meal which would definitely be her signature dish i.e.aaloo ka rasa sans garlic-onion with poori. She would ofcourse not eat pooris so I would make her chapatis. As soon as the lunch would be done, we would again be sitting down for our next round of tell-tales about the golden era to which Nani belongs. Our chats have so much variety and it ranges from mythology, cookery tips and making homemade pickles to politics, general knowledge, films and diy crafts. 

Oh! And how can I forget to convince Nani to open up that old treasure box which has so many goodies like an antique deck of cards, various colorful konch shells, knitted sweaters, crochet table- cloths and those lac bangles which I have always eyed upon! Whenever that box opens another round of nostalgic conversation unfolds about the times when Nani and Nanaji used to play cards every evening and how he lost intentionally just to make Nani happy. It is a mandate thereafter, that whenever this box opens we play cards and ashtachamma (Indian ludo) with those conch shells.

After the game we would watch Jai Santoshi Maa movie or Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan which are an absolute favorite of my Nani. What fun!!

And all this dreamy day cannot end without a champi of warm coconut hair oil but this time I would definitely want to reverse role play. This time I would love to give a head champi to Nani paving way for a cozy snuggly sleep in Nani’s lap.

Gosh! I just realized my reverie and I guess I have to get my tickets booked very soon to visit my Nani to #LoveJatao ! This #LoveJatao campaign has surely rekindled the fire within to spread love and share joy with the most significant yet most ignored people of our lives!

Do watch this video of Parachute Advanced specially for our grandparents -: 
I would look forward to hear from you how would you  celebrate Grandparents Day

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Breastfeeding Simplified!

On January 31st 2017, I got to feel the bliss of motherhood for the first time in life. Motherhood comes with its own set of wows and woes. The biggest and most common woes is not being able to breastfeed your baby !! I did not suffer from any medical condition but I was not lactating. After the second day of my baby boy’s birth, he was given to me for breastfeeding. Being a first time mom I did not know how to take the baby in my arms properly, or how to latch him on my nipples. Breastfeeding our baby is the most beautiful feeling. The moment the baby latches on our breast and starts suckling milk gives us immense satisfaction. But sometimes because of some medical conditions or lack of knowledge, new moms delay breastfeeding, reducing milk supply.

Well, I was one of those moms. I had a c-section and after operation, the doctor came once or twice and told me how to breastfeed and instructed the nurses to help me. I was waiting eagerly for my baby to wake up so that I could breastfeed him. After a few hours, he started crying for milk and I took him in my arms and tried to feed him. But he was not latching. I tried hard and called the nurse for help. She came and held the baby in a way so that he can latch and start suckling. My son tried but started crying. So the nurse gave him formula milk. After a few hours I tried feeding my baby again, but I couldn’t. Again I called nurse for help and she said angrily, “Madam apke nipples hi nahi bane hain, baby suck nahi kar pa raha (Your nipples have not been formed well and hence baby can’t suck).” My mother-in-law insisted to give my baby formula and seeing him cry I also gave in. After sometime I again tried to feed my baby but in vain. I again called the sister. She then checked my breasts and pressed them hard and told me, “Doodh nahi aa raha aapko (You are not lactating).” After that she came with a blunt-end syringe and tried expressing milk with it but the result was extremely painful and yielded only a few drops of milk(colostrum). Whenever my baby was crying I myself was trying to express milk through the syringe. In spite of extreme pain I was trying again and again but there was no milk and the result was sore nipples and fever. I tried everything from moong ke dal, dalia to oxytocin injection but nothing worked. I used to cry at night seeing my baby cry for milk and the torturous thought of not producing milk for my baby. Relatives were coming to see me and my baby and were sharing their story of having huge amount of milk for their baby flowing out of their clothes every time. After every visit, I used to feel as if I have committed a big crime by not producing milk and by feeding my baby formula milk.

Advice That Changed Everything

By third day my baby boy was diagnosed with jaundice and hence he was shifted to NICU for phototherapy. After some hours the nurse called me to that phototherapy ward as my baby was hungry.

I told the nurse that I was not lactating and was unable to feed my baby. I asked her to go with the formula instead. I believe Goddess Shakti came in the disguise of this young 20 something nurse as her gestures, advice and efforts changed everything. This nurse  kept her hand lovingly on my shoulder and asked me, “Why do you think you can’t produce milk?”

I just started crying not because I was not producing milk but because of the love and care I was getting which I had been craving for so long.

I narrated to her the whole story of my efforts and the zero result. She looked at me with a divine smile, held my hand and said, “Mam, there is nothing like non-lactating. Every mother can lactate. This is a gift given by God to all mothers. Some mothers may take time because of some reasons but they lactate. The most important thing for a new mother is good food with relaxed, stress-free mind.

You just take this negative thought out of your mind that you can’t produce milk for your baby because it will only affect your milk supply. Just continue feeding your baby. The more the baby suckles, the more will be the milk-production. Trust me and you will see the result by your own”.

After that she first tried extracting some colostrum with a blunt syringe and kept motivating me..with our efforts 4 5 spoonful of milk came out. She went and gave it to my baby in NICU. She then came back and took me in wheelchair to my baby. Nurses were very cooperative and stood beside me till the time I was breastfeeding my baby. I allowed my baby to suck my nipples as long as he wanted.

 The very next day I found the milk coming! I was discharged after two days from the hospital too as my baby had recovered from jaundice.

That nurse instructed me to continue breastfeeding and waved me a loving goodbye.

After this I continued breastfeeding. Though the supply was still less, but I WAS lactating.

My boy is 6 months now and we have become a pro at it. Sometimes I feel if that nurse had not been there to guide me and motivate me, I would have resorted to formula and would never have the blissful feeling breastfeeding gives. My Message To New Mothers, Doctors & All Other Women I want to tell all new mothers – be positive when starting to breastfeed your baby. Try different positions to latch baby but don’t give up hope. Remember that you are bestowed with all the essentials of a mother that’s why God has gifted you this motherhood.  #Happyfeeding #breastfeedingweek

Brother From Another Mother! 

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people who are there for you, accept you in their lives and love to see you smile, no matter what! 

And I am one lucky person to have a family beyond blood. My father is a Indian Railway employee and in 1991 we (papa, mummy, me and my younger sister) moved into Railway colony at Allahabad. My mother was expecting my youngest sister at that time. So, in a few months we were a family of five- the fabulous five. Little did we know that this family of five was going to have four more members and we would be now one big family of nine!! No, no, my parents were by no means planning a cricket team… These four members were actually our dearest neighbours- Uncle, Aunty,their son and daughter-making us a big HAPPY FAMILY. Today years later, many more members have now occupied our hearts- sister-in-law, brother-in-law, their kids, our spouses, our kids and we are now this one giant family.

As we were three sisters (from my mother), we always craved for a hand to tie Rakhi on. Our prayers were heard and we got our elder brother right there in our neighbourhood. It is rightly said that true relations need not always be blood relations. True relations are built upon pure & selfless love, trust and willingness to do anything for the good of other.

 It has been wonderful 26 years now that I got my Bhaiya and Didi and there’s no looking back. They have stood by us through every thick and thin right from helping in our school-studies,tests, playing games, childhood teasings & pranks, celebrating each and every festival of calendar together to my father’s sudden cardiac ailment, our marriages and then our kids…. We have come a long long way and still a lifetime to go! My brother has always been the pillar of strength for us. It’s for him that we three sisters know the joy of Rakshabandhan…. It’s for him that inspite of living in different cities we look forward to going to hometown every Rakshabandhan! This bandhan of ours is really a bandhan for raksha- raksha of thepious love we have, raksha of thebond beyond blood !! 

Toay, I advocate that Rakshabandhan should be evolved from celebrating only brother-sister love to Sibling-love, without any bias of gender or genetic association. A child should be able to experience and celebrate the love of sibling – a sibling either from same mother or another mother. In a world of single children, we as parents have a prime responsibility to raise our children in such a manner that-

* Our kids rise above the regressive conventions of society.

*Our kids should be able to see all their fellows as their siblings.

* Each single child should atleast have a sibling beyond blood.

*Our kids should imbibe and live our vedic adage- Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam-the world is one family! 

And all this would start with us. We will have to be a living example for our kids to follow. Let’s make this world a better place to live!


मेरा पहला Mothers Day! 

मुझे मालूम है शीर्षक देख कर आपने सोचा होगा कि mothers day तो कब का बीत गया और ये madam अब जाग रही हैं!! पर बात दर असल ऐसी है कि blogging की दुनिया में में बहुत नई हूँ। अपनी ज़िंदगी के सबसे अनोखे पहले अनुभव को कागज़ पर उतारना आसान नहीं है। इसीलिए सोचते सोचते वक़्त बीत गया और ये blog अब तैयार हुआ। 

  साल 2017 मेरे जीवन का एक अनूठा मोड़ लेकर आया या यूं कहूँ कि मुझे एक नया जीवन ही मिल गया। वो कहते हैं ना कि ज़िन्दगी में हर पहली चीज़ से एक गहरा लगाव और रिश्ता बन जाता है…. जीवन का हर पहला बेहद खास होता है। 

2017 में मुझे जो सौगात मिली वो है मातृत्व। मैं पहली बार माँ बनी। पहली बार मातृत्व की भावना को समझने का मौका मिला। पहली बार एहसास हुआ कि मेरी माँ ने किस तरह एक एक पल त्याग करके मुझे बड़ा किया होगा। पहली बार एहसास हुआ कि एक नन्ही सी जान जो 9 महीने तक आपके अंदर पनप रही थी, जिसके लिए आप एक एक कदम फूंक फूंक कर रखते आए थे वो जब सामने आती है तो कैसा लगता है !

31 जनवरी 2017 को मेरा बेटा अद्वित मुझे मिला! अब उससेे जुड़ी हर चीज़ मेरे लिए पहली है और हर वो पहला लम्हा बेहद खास। इसी कड़ी में हाल ही में बीता mothers day भी मेरा पहला था और ज़ाहिर है एक भाव विभोर कर देने वाला दिन था।

मुझे कविताएं लिखने का शौक है या यूं कहूँ कि मुझे अपने दिल के गहरे ख्याल किसी से कहने में या बताने में कठिनाई होती है इसलिए वो अनकहे जज़्बात कविताओं के रूप में निकल कर मेरी diary में कैद हो जाते हैं। अब चाहे वो जज़्बात हंसाने वाले हों, रुलाने वाले या कुछ सोचने को मजबूर करने वाले।

अपने पहले mothers day पर भी मेरा कवि हृदय जाग उठा और दिल की भावनाओं को व्यक्त करने के लिए जो कविता लिखी थी वो आज आप से बांटती हूँ-

समय के स्वर्णिम पंख हैं कैसे

अविरल गति से बढ़ते जैसे। 

अभी ही तो बीते थे वो पल

तुम अंश बन जब मेरे भीतर आए, 

अनकहे अनसुलझे से वो डर

जब नौ महीनों में अंत को आए ।

अभी ही की तो बात है वो भी,

जब मन तुम्हारी छवि को बुनता था, 

तुम स्वस्थ रहो सुबुद्ध रहो, 

बस यही कामना करता था। 

फिर वो दिन भी झूमता आ ही गया 

जब तुम आए मेरी दुनिया में, 

वो मन में बसी तस्वीर भी अब

प्रत्यक्ष थी मेरी बाहों में। 

वो टिम टिम करती काली आंखें,

वो कोमल कोमल से नाज़ुक हाथ

अब तुम ही मेरी दुनिया हो,

अब हर पल उत्सव है तुम्हारे साथ।

हर दिन दिखलाते तुम नया रूप

हर पल होती कोई नई अदा,

माँ बन बीते मास तीन और चौदह दिन,

पर अमर रहेगा ये प्रेम सदा।

जब माँ मेरी कहती थी यही

खुद माँ बनोगी तो पता चलेगा,

क्यों होती है चिंता क्यों टोकती हूँ

उसका भी तुमको उत्तर मिलेगा।

आज सत्य हुई मेरी माँ की बात

हर क्षण तुम्हारी चिंता होती है,

बेसुध सोने वाली लड़की भी देखो

अब श्वान निद्रा सोती है।

ईश्वर ने माँ तो बना दिया

अब इस माँ का है ध्येय यही,

नन्ही जान को अपनी अब

सिखलाना है चुनना पथ सही।

यूँ तो आज है मेरा पहला मातृ दिवस

जब मेरी नन्ही दुनिया है मेरे साथ

तेरी निश्छल मुस्कान से लेकिन

नित हैं मातृ दिवस और रात!!

परमेश्वर से अनुपम उपहार मिला

उपहार का मान बढ़ाना है,

मातृ दिवस पर संकल्प यही अब,

श्रेष्ठ मानव तुमको बनाना है।

सबके हृदय में तुम राज करो,

ऐसा उत्कृष्ट, अद्वित बनाना है।

The worst ever breakup !! 

“Break-up” – a deep, dark word which makes us gloomy as soon as we hear it!! Most of us might have had one or more break-ups in our lives. I won’t ask you which break-up of yours caused you the most pain! No. I know you don’t want to recall it and it’s the best you can do to protect your soul.

However, I would put forth a question… Have you ever thought which break-up causes the most damage to us?? With whom you would never want to break up? What kind of break-up would be worst ever in your life?

These questions were bothering me for a while and lately I figured out answer to this- Break-up with Self. Yes, you heard me right!! .

There are numerous times in our lives when we are ready to give up..Give up on ourselves for not being able to handle a relationship or not being able to pull through a financial crisis or may be while suffering from some physical ailment. Also, when we are rearing a child sometimes we just lose our cool and find ourselves to be a loser. And all this while, we tend to lose our own self in struggling with the various responsibilities of life. We forget to give ourselves the much needed love and care that we deserve. It’s always about our kids, our husbands, our families, our jobs but never about us!

Being a woman and mother of a 5month old baby, I realized of late that I had kind of broke up with myself after the delivery of my baby. Rearing a baby is not a cake-walk! It takes up a whole lot of you. It demands all of your strength -both physical and mental. After I had a baby, all I could think of and do about was The Baby! Anxious about everything, right from my body, the post partum health issues( I had a C-Sec and yes it was painful for first ten days or so) and slow recovery to the dos n donts told by relatives, the health of baby and the plethora of household chores that follow- with all this anxiety I was always blue..gloomy. Every other day I ended up feeling that I am not giving my best and that I don’t have it in me. Despite my husband’s love and care, in the past five months I could not imagine myself leaving my home with or without baby for an outing except for his hospital visits. I rarely did what I enjoyed the most like listening to FM while cooking, writing my poems, reading novels, hanging out with friends!! Basically, I had snapped up ties with Myself. This realization made my heart sink. I had tears welled up in my eyes and I just could not hold them back for another second. It seemed as if I had no life left in me. Inspite of having full support of my husband and mother-in-law I sometimes found myself dejected. Its nothing like that I was not enjoying my motherhood… I relished each n every move my baby made, his expressions, activities kept me enthralled but still something seemed amiss. But thankfully, this anxiety did not turn into depression and almost within a fortnight, while sitting in solitude I tried to come up with solutions for my state.

For all new mums like me I would like to share five ways to not ever have the worst break up of your life

1. Prioritize- As they say First Things First. Your first priority should be You and your baby. Period. Laundry, cooking, cleaning can all take a back seat. If you think you don’t feel like cooking, order something. Keep those laundry for next day and let those toys be scattered around house for a while. Don’t think about what others might say. You can complete your chores as soon as you gather back yourself.

2. Be an opportunist- There should be no shame in seeking help of your near and dear ones. If you’re lucky like me to have a joint family, don’t shy from asking them to take care of baby or help in chopping veggies or any little help they can offer. Take a short nap or just lie down on bed while they’ll take care of things. If you’re all by yourself, hire a help if you can. You can invite your neighbors for tea and while you make some, they can take care of baby… Good relations always go a long way. Neighbors are always the first rescuer so maintain warmth with them. But never forget to return the favor whenever time comes.

3. Strike chord with your interests – Whether it’s your love for painting or writing or reading or any other hobby, DO MAKE SURE to take time out for it. Believe me, there’s no other stress relieving therapy as to do what you love.


Play your favorite music while cooking or try some easy, quick painting, craft etc while your baby naps. I made hand painted tshirts for my husband and my father on Fathers Day with help of liquid embroidery colors, when my baby took his afternoon naps. 


Infact, right now while my baby is fast asleep beside me, I am having my de-stress session by writing what I feel. Writing makes me feel good and that’s what I am doing whenever I can. 

Now I know that you just got to take that first step and slowly you’ll automatically find time for doing what you love!

4. Befriend Nature– Nature always has to offer you the peace and serenity you deserve. Make sure to go for a stroll in evening with your baby. No need to open your wardrobe or wear make up. Just tie up your hair in a messy bun, splash some cold water on your face, pat it dry if you want to and you’re good to go!  Your baby loves you that way and that’s what matters the most. Just enjoy a 10minutes stroll in your locality. Enjoy some fresh air. Tell your baby all that you see. He will also connect with it really well and would get to learn new words and observe new surroundings.

5. Cheer yourself– Last but not the least, cheer yourself. As a woman and mother we play multi roles all at the same time with little honor or acknowledgement. There is a Durga in everyone of us. We are doing a great great job…A job that no one on earth could ever take up. We are the chosen ones and so let’s celebrate ourselves every moment. Pat our backs and cheer ourselves!!!

I have learnt my lesson and would want you to learn from mine. Come, let’s take a promise to never break up with our own self!



Relishing the flavors life has to offer

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